Love is blind, and so is the Martian Cat


But you don't have to be blind to the madness of sending humans to Mars.

Read the novel today!

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Space engineer Charlie Darling is the only passenger on the Inter-Planet shuttle to arrive at Mars Resort alive. He finds the resort destroyed, and all but one of the Mars colonists dead. The sole survivor is a deranged female medic called Maddy whose driving quest is to prove that the ailment called Martian Madness is cause by fungus growing in the human brain. Driven to despair by this grim situation, Charlie finds solace in the Martian Cat, an emaciated feline who just wants to avoid becoming someone's meal. On their own, Charlie and the Martian Cat have little chance of survival. Will their odds improve if they stick together?

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How to do a Martian Cat reading:

The Martian Cat is planned to be the world's first novel recited by the public on Youtube. We have made a start with Willow and Jimmy. You can help.

To do a Martian Cat reading:

1. Get The Martian Cat on an ipad or smart phone <here>.

2. Go some where dark.

4. Choose a chapter - maybe have a pre-read to be sure you are committed to reading the vulgar book.

3. Get someone to film you reading the whole chapter of the Martian Cat, your face hauntingly illuminated by the screen that you are reading from.

4. Upload to youtube.

5. Send youtube video link to


See all the readings below.

Martian Cat Chapters:

Pouring Down - Chapter 11 Bankruptcy - Mars Express - A Cat Like That - Sleep Now - Murderous Mishaps - The Two Tony’s - Mars Express - Lift-Off Inter-Planet - Mars Resort - The Mad Medic, Maddy - The Martian Cat - White Wee - The Flalgae Factory - Mars Resort in Ruins - Life on Mars - Debris of Alternative Facts - Micro-meteorite Shower - Fresh Bandage - Cat Sandwich - Model an Explosion - Not Dead Yet - The Bite Fight - Hellacious Cat Fart - Nobel Prize in Exobiology - Enya, Backwards - F**k Factor 5 - Twenty Minutes Later - No Dead Yet - Gassing the Elderly - Nuked on High - Martian Cat Health Analysis - The Mars Induction - Planning Escape - Meat and Three-Veg - Refuel the shuttle - Who’s the Little Kitty Cat? - Meat, Three-Veg, Pussy, Cock - Sabotage Mars Infrastructure - Tossing the Porkers Out - Classic Martian Cat Attack - Can I Come in, Sweetie? - Lift Off - Interspecies Space-Ballet - Sponge Bath - Mars Opposition - Sleep Now - Glossary of Mars Terms


Martian Cat Health Analysis


Classic Martian Cat Attack